It occurred to me that most of you want to know how I am adjusting to Cambodia the random on going in my day to day life or just things I have learned becoming a Cambodian women. Well here is goes as I ride my bike around town I often see cattle but in Cambodia there is not the type of cattle you fatten up to eat so the working cattle becomes dinner they often look so thin and sickly sometimes I have seen them dead on the side of the road. Needless to say the meat does not taste the same also meat is left out a lot which if I was in the states would bug me but in Cambodia I just learn to live with, its all about not over thinking things because if you do you will end up rejecting the country and culture really quickly. Cambodia has some crazy fruit a lot, which grow on vines and tress but oddly enough not strawberries why because it actually doest get cold enough long enough. Also they have oranges that are bright green. Ever have chicken for dinner and not know what to do with your left over bones will in Cambodia not an issues you just throw them on the ground while you eat the dogs will eat them as well as cats (never new cats like bones). In America you know it is going to rain if the sky starts to look grey over cast like well in Cambodia they know to but I have no idea how bc it will be a clear sky and sunny but they will always call it out. Most of the people in Cambodia are scared of snakes while in America it is spiders also Cambodians are very fearful of ghost and sprits, I would think if that was your fear you would want to keep them out but instead they just want to make them happy so they leave an offering house thing with water flowers and food (it’s a Buddhist thing). If you ask a Cambodian if there family was from anywhere else they look at you like you have 5 heads and will not skip a beat and be like I am Cambodian so when you try to explain that in American people are from all over generally know as mutts they don’t get it. Everyone in Cambodian does not believe in the idea of the individual for instances if I do something screwed up in Cambodia people would look down at my whole host family, which is somewhat odd everything belongs to your family and neighbors so while in America we want to take credit for things we have done individually in Cambodia the family as a whole takes credit which can be good and bad. What I mean by that is it takes away from the ego of the person and allows others to share more with you but also kind of sucks bc there is still a system in place which is not exactly fare of equal example its more likely the man will get more praises even if the women who did whatever. Only 1 percent of hospitals actually have DRS in them most hospitals esp village ones are run by nurses and midwives drs will not make enough money in small places so they don’t go there. What is it like to being living in this whole new atmosphere I have just told you somewhat about its amazing because with this I get to wake up in rice fields and palm trees and these astounding human beings know as Cambodians get to make me laugh and think all at once. What it all really comes down to is realizing that were all aliens just trying to figure out what it means to be human and even though I have grown up in America I still cant say I get the people in my own mother land any more then I get Cambodian people and I guess that’s what keeps me tuned in.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Lack of information
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Oregon Trail
Okay so lets go back to the best computer game ever in 1995 and why I bring it up in 2010 that game is currently my life but more rpg style… I spend my time trying not to die of dysentery finding goods in other villages and having to interact with people to make sure I can find ways to the village to trade goods etc. this weekend I had my Cambodian adventure at another volunteer sites it has been awesome but it made me realize how each village has something diff to offer in way of life as well as actual goods being an American I fail to see the value in sugar and milk etc bc they have and seem to always been their were in Cambodia I have yet to find a thing of peanut butter though im told it might be sold in a gas station so this is my life no Oregon trail the open Cambodian road I have to cross rivers and walk into on coming high ways in hopes to find all that I need and from this I value goods a lot more now! So I got to visit kampong Thom and then go up to semi reap I went with two other people and together we new enough Khmer to get to where we had to be I just hope I can do it on my own. I have had a very western style weekend awesome food and I even got Mexican I decide that I was Spanish in my past life by I love wraps so much and I think I might miss that more then American food. Have to say that semi reap looks way diff then the regular villages even the market it soo clean they really want to keep having the brongs coming (brongs means French foreigner however they now just use it if your white in general) so I get hello brong a lot its sort of odd bc if we said that in the us i think we might be punched not to mention in the us if you charged someone based on their skin color they that person would be sued. Everyday is a step at a time I take everything I learn to decied what steps I will take in my two years to try to help where I feel I can be of most use and that may include equality classes. this will be my last post till I have internet again so joom reap leah!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
At what cost
I had a very long day today I had to take a 30 min ride for a big peace corps meet up which I think we do once a week which is nice to see the other volunteers! But a long day bc there is a lot to learn today it was all about water filters and some games with prizes but my group did not win so no snickers’ for me I think the prize’s started to make everyone think about American food way to much so I have entered a mind set while being here that I don’t know what American food is also I keep acting like I have never had anything be4 so its like I am not losing anything it makes being here a whole lot easier. For those who don’t know since reading be here and be now I have become somewhat in love with Ram Dass philosophies so I feel Cambodia is an opportunity for me to move past what I think I know I am to the actualization beyond me now, the example he uses is does the caterpillar know it is changing into a butterfly or does it just happen and that is the same with human transformation into realizing! All I can say is I rather be in any 3rd/4th world country then stuck behind some desk from 9-5 at least in Cambodia I can honestly say I feel I am living being an active participant in life being hyper aware of my surroundings has made me realize how much I was on autopilot like most days I did not even realize how I just said the same things or answer to the same things (paper or plastic, have a nice day, when do you have work etc). I will stop going all deep into my psyche and come back to the reality most people want to here about, anyways my teacher came over to tell my host family about my up coming schedule and a lot was able to be understood such as I know what to do with my garbage yay. I know your all like how come you did not know well in Cambodia there is no sanitation of any kind so everything has to be burnt but at my house I don’t have a backyard which I think is where most families burn theirs and were I live in the market I see a lot of people do it right on the street but I was very unsure if this is what my family does or not turns out no, instead they put it in a potato sack and give into to someone to take to the field to burn. If I have time for another side project because my ideas for this place r filling up fast I would like at least in my village want to set up more places to throw out trash bc I am starting to think of that commercial from the 80s with the crying Indian dude bc of all the trash in America well its 100 times worse here no one has any trash cans one is excepted to just throw stuff on the ground and I felt bad doing that so I have been storing water bottles and other plastic thing in my desk =( I had no idea what I was gonna do in a few days I was running out of room. Naturally as many of you know trash brings bugs and disease so being a health educator I feel I have to get this to work out in my village fingers crossed which will require me to come up with some free way to make trashcans or it will not happen. Turns out my host mom thinks im soo funny even though she has no idea what im saying I guess my mannerisms r enough in Khmer when you do not know something you do this thing with your hands and say attae (no) which seems to make every Cambodian laugh when I do this but at least they understand I have absolutely no idea what they are saying to me. While most volunteers also have to deal with la barriers with families a lot of them have kids in them which most young kids learn some eng in school so it helps a bit for me it’s just me and my boa and mia (host dad, mom). For now I must go but I will leave you with a little Ram Dass wisdom… If you get so efficient if you’ve got to turned off to all the vibrations of the scene (life) bc your so busy about the future or the past or time has caught you it cost to much!
American Aboard
So I have to admit before coming to Cambodia I did have my hesitation on how would I be treated as an American considering our past with them, Incase they didn’t cover this in history classes for most of you (I think my teachers most of forgotten to talk about it???) year right anyways with the Vietnam war we also went into Cambodian territories and helped with the over throw of there gov which soon became the Khmer rouge which in turned killed millions. Knowing that in American people still re in act the civil war and the south still hold some what of a weird grudge I for sure thought the people here would have there options however if they do I see no sign of it this could be due to my poor communication skills in Khmer or just the fact that they are to nice to tell me to my face. However I did have the opportunity to talk to another foreigner from Australia who happened to have asked flat out (im pretty sure she speaks Khmer) her story goes like this she was riding on a tourist bus in phom phenn the bus driver has scares in his head from where the bullet hit him so she ask how did that happen and he tells her the war and in turn she ask how can you stand being so happy when half the people on this bus are American tourist? Besides the money he tells her well we won the war haha and then says that when everything happened that the Cambodian gov told the people not to blame the Americans it is not the people it is the leaders and then proceeded to show protest clips on the news of Americans protesting the bombs of Cambodia. I just wonder if it were the other way around would our gov show clips of the opposition and try to defend them? Well after this lady had the balls to ask I decided to ask my lcf and he was just no we love Americans they help us so much so I feel its almost the fact there all so Buddhist here its like they very easily forget the past and move on to the future and I think after the atrocities they have faced and can do that so should the rest of us, I really do admire how open Cambodian people r. I would have to say I don’t think they care so much as I am American is that I have white skin which is some what hard for me to deal with for instances yesterday I went to the market alone and I kid you not some old Cambodian lady grabs my arm and starts to slap it point to how white it is screaming this to the lady across the way this went on for what felt like forever but in actuality was about 2 mins then to let me know I could go she smacked my ass I think by American stands I was harassed lmao in Cambodian however I made a friend. I would also say more important then me being American is that I speak eng so I take the same bike rout everyday where I know my chances of getting hit are less (no traffic laws in Cambodia a volunteer was actually already hit) so there really is no deviating from this path needless to say so the word is out I think Cambodian kids get up early to say one word and one word only to me HELLO HELLO HELLO its like they learned this one word incase they ever met an eng speaker and now that it has happened they stand outside there fence to say this every morning, however when I try to speak Khmer back to them you can forget it this scares them to death they have no idea why I know Khmer and they scatter away. There is also this misconception that because I graduated college I am a dr or maybe they get health volunteer edu mixed up but I keep telling my host family I am not a dr but im starting to feel maybe this is away for them to brag there is a whole status thing in Cambodia and perhaps I should just play along? Needless to say being an American in Cambodia has many benefits as far as people will just listen to whatever I say but the down side is I am always in a fish bowel and believe me the neighbors let me know how funny I am or what is wrong with me (many occasions they come and pick up my fat rolls and laugh) in return I just motion that I am huge American this makes them laugh harder but what can I do next to them everyone is huge! However sometimes being fat equals being happy almost like Santa clause or something like fat equals jolly or maybe more like Buddha I dunno but somehow fat means you are happy. This weekend I will be going on an adventure to see different volunteers site where I will have Internet so I hope you all will be happy to see 5 new blogs at once! Till then joom reap leah!
Motorcycle diaries
So a couple months ago I watched this movie called motorcycle diaries about Che Gurvaro’s life more of the innocent reason as luis would put it as to why he became a socialist. Not saying I am become a socialist so have no fear but I guess I can relate a bit better I had my first tour of the hospital and it took everything for me not to breakdown. Right now in Cambodia it is rainy season so misquotes are out and the rate at which dungay fever is hitting is really high this year so the hospital does not have enough beds which are all children right now so you just walk around and there is all these really young kids lying out on wooden beds and fly’s are all over them but it does not seem to really phase them maybe this is just something that I see because I am American, anyways the reason I bring up Che is because it hard not to look at one’s self or the class difference even with in the country and just really reflect on life it self. From that you might think the hospital care is poor here but its not so there is a lot they offer however most of it is supported though ngo’s and I think most of the ngo’s from what I can tell thus far go to pregnant women. There are no tax’s in Cambodian in fact there are no set prices either so I asked the chef health director of the district how will Cambodia be able to pay for this when the ngos leave he just said that they will but slowly but I don’t know where they would get the money with out ngos so I feel they will forever be dependent on foreign and outside help considering that 100 percent of funds for hospital care come from out side help. There system seems pretty efficient from what they have shown us thus far its all about population per capita size so there is big hospitals to local ones to village ones then there is one beneath that which I cant remember the name for however most cases can not be handled by the village which is considered on a scale one or two at that level they do not have blood, electricity in many places so the people must go to a bigger hospital or as they call it a referral hospital. The referral for where I am staying in prey chore is pretty big and the chef has helped my group of health volunteers a lot I felt very vip he set so many things up for us. After the tour he provided us with yesterday he invited us to a special event on dunge fever and though some peace corps scheduling shuffling the health volunteers were able to attend. We all thought we would be going to this event learn and maybe interact with some people but turns out if you get to show up with 6 Americans in Cambodia you are famous so we went from guest to honoree guest and had to sit up on stage with the A.D.B (Asian development bank) which put together for months this whole education for the public so needless to say we felt sort of like okay we show up and get to sit up on stage with people who did all this work. So far this whole experience has made me really want to do as much as I can while I serve in Cambodia when ever I start to think why am I squatting to pee haha sort of feeling I just think all the Cambodian people have been though and it makes me stop victimizing my self pretty quick.
Welcome to the freak show!
Since arriving in Cambodia it’s pretty much been whoo why is the American hear the American can eat rice and say some khmer. Now that im in a small village this has gone to levels I cannot even explain. I will take you back to yesterday night I try to make attempts just to sit with my host mom and dad even if I cant speak to them while doing this I was making flash cards for me to learn the la and before I know it they had all the neighbors over to watch me because they thought it was so funny that I can write so fast in eng so I did this for 30 mins like people paid for a show or something. I know your thinking could this getting any more awkward… well it did around 7:30 I always try to get to my room so I can be alone so I just mimic sleep however every time I do this my host mom mimics back at me bucket shower and I always try to explain I bucket shower in the morning. Well now I understand why this happens every night one of the girls next store speaks some eng and so my host mom went and got her and so naturally the rest of the neighbors followed to ask me why do I only take one shower (in my head do I smell or something like wtf). I was like umm how to answer this to them so I told the girl speaking eng I get dry skin bc I was not very sure if this was normal or it was my host mom so I was like side note ask my lcf (the guys who is teaching me khmer). So sure enough I found out this is customary that it’s a sign of respect for guest that they try to let guest take 5-bucket showers a day!!! I was thinking that for one a place with out running water would want to conserve water but I guess not so now I have to debate is it worth the time and energy to please my host mom and bucket shower 2 times a day at least its not 5! A little about my host family it is just a couple who I think have two sons from the little I can communicate one is a dr I think they have grandchildren making them grandparents. I have electricity which is nice both my host mom and dad are really nice I think everything I do makes them laugh im pretty ok with that just trying not to leave the impression of Americans are dirty. No running water the whole squatting toilet thing is somewhat of a challenge but once you just do it I guess that cherry is popped and its not so bad after no lie aimining is not as easy as I thought sorry if that’s to much information your squat over that hole has to be just right or it will get everywhere so for now my technique is to hold it until I am at home and then just have a skirt on so I don’t have to worry about messing up my pants or underwear. Even though I have only been gone a week it feels like no like 6 months my day is packed with so much I wake up well all hours of the night but officially at 6:15 (even though my host mom starts to bang rugs outside my window what I think is 4 am) I have to get breakfast which is always somewhat of a long process since they don’t understand me then off to la class for 4 hours then I get a lunch break after lunch I have to meet with my health group to learn about that stuff and all the happening’s in Cambodia this is my favorite part of the day but that’s bc I know enough about this were la is my biggest struggle. Pretty much my whole day I have to re teach my self everything I knew its like I am a child all over again which is fun because of all the wonderment I get to see in the world and frustrating bc its really like I know nothing and have no say really in what I do.