THE CHAM’S

In Cambodia I guess you can say the minority population would be the chams which is just Muslim faith however not many of Peace Corps site have much interaction with the chams my site is pretty unique in that way. So one of my good friends is cham he lives in the cham village which is just the other side of the street from my house he ended up inviting me to this event going on yesterday night. Originally I was not so sure I wanted to go because I thought it was going to be in the mosque however he is working with me on my soccer camp so it was time to suck it up and go. I was going to go before my Khmer lesson so it would not be dark one less hassle to argue with the family (girl walking alone at dark never makes Cambodian’s happy) however that changed and let me to tell you about my encounter with a pedophile… no secret I am the American in town there is this old senile guy who loves me and no he is not the pedophile he is really nice just not all their and it seems to make him happy when ever he see’s me so I go out of my way to attempt to talk to him even though I know he does understand me and vise versa. This old guy came with I think his sister or someone I am not really sure maybe wife anyways they wanted me to go to their house and meet this American who was marrying their daughter I don’t know why but it never crossed my mind he was going to be a pedophile perhaps because they seemed so happy I thought wow this must be a great relationship (I really can be slow sometimes) if you saw how happy this family acted you would think this was a great thing. Anyways since they asked me to vist I said sure ill go now bc I have to study Khmer soon so jentee comes with me though im not sure why not that I mind for some reason I think she was curious when we get to the house and see the old white dude I almost throw up. When I mean old white dude I mean his face was like deformed his nose was like something out of hassle and Gredal he is 56 and the girl he is marrying is 22. Now im thinking in my head what the fuck is with my village to sell their daughters to crazy ass old ugly American dudes this is just not normal I cant take this!!! But some how I collected my self (still don’t know how) well maybe I do because I wanted to read is body la and see how much he would lie to me thanks to that show lie to me its one of my favorite things to do. Minus a few things ill have you know he lied the whole time he told me they have been able to talk for 5 years though online and stuff even though she doest speak eng or have a computer and no Cambodian goes to find internet so at best he knew her maybe a year though her family that lives in the states and met her once. When I asked him about being married be4 he started to play with his wedding ring indication he did really crappy things in his marriage the first time around or tried the same thing but that wife left. Things he told the truth about he wanted to marry her so he could have someone to take care of him when he retires that he paid off the village chief 2600 dollars helping her get though the embassy. Everything about him is just sketch and I wish I could prevent that but they are getting married on satruday so another Cambodian lost to a creepy man who just wants her virginity and a house made im so glad her parents can be so willfully ignorant to what this man wants out of her. Speak of creepy men I think this was a lot of jentee to see she is really good and holding things inside and not letting people figure her out lucky for me I just kinda can feel things with out really knowing why its my gift and curse as I like to put it since meeting me she has had to put a lot into question esp her marriage and what her family did to her. Part of me is so sad I over told her the truth like I wish I held back but the other day I just spilled it all out about him stealing her visa to hold her hostage all the things I have seen working in the dv shelter everything she took it in and realizes but she also wants to remain willfully ignorant. Which I can tell u is effecting her more lately just from watching her she also is feeling like she got an even shorter end of things bc at least this new creep has money who is giving to the family her husband has not helped her family out at all this has been a huge stressor on her. For one people know she is married to an American so they number one talk about why doest she have money if she has to barrow money she cant ask people bc they are pretty jealous of her and think well u have an American husband go ask him sort of a mentality. She has been put in a real shitty situation because of him and I would be supper mad she keeps putting on this charade but something insde me has slowly changed and I don’t know why. Intial in the states I would think well now that you know why the fuck do you stay with the jackass I really would, but experiencing Cambodian life and knowing even with the risk of what I have seen in my line of work men holding imgrant women hostage beating them taking knifes to them raping them etc I can sadly see why its still worth the risk to her. I think I will wait to give you more background on her in another blog bc I have already gotton way off topic and know I could go on forever about her dynamics as a human being. Chams yes well due to that side adventure I went at 8 instead which was some what hard because it was dark and Khmer people don’t trust the cham’s though they don’t like to out worldly admit their prejudices what I mean by that like family has a lot of cham friends and a lot of chams buy stuff from them bc jentee speaks cham however they think chams are more likely to rape and kill me. Well I was like ill be fine no worries they told me I was crazy but I left anyways I was pretty happy doing so to it was nothing like I excepted. When I got their I found my friend has his wife and family who started to explain what this was all about so 411 on chams…. Well in Cambodia most chams are Malaysian chams they told me their r 3 types Malaysian, Iraq and Vietnamese cham my friend is malay cham however turns out most of the cham village near me is Vietnamese cham which is pretty rare but I guess back in the day they had their own land until Vietnam took it over anyways malya chams think they are the normal chams bc they prey 5 times a day that their more legit for whatever reason so my friend said he did not want to be joining this party. I was like huh so this was not like a typical this time of year religious event after someone is really sick and drs etc cant help if the family is rich enough they throw this huge ceremony I mean huge to ask the ghost to make them better it was one of the coolest thing I have seen because it just so rare to see. First only chams can go so no Khmer people are invited so I think I might have been the first outsider ever to go which made it a privilege. Their was food vendors everywhere and then this big bright light stage thing where there was young boys playing music on a hallow wooden log very interesting music to hear while they were playing their were these older ladies who were dancing some sort of ritual dance with lace fans. Due to the fact this was to entice the ghost this is why the Malaya chams do not like this event bc they do not believe in the ghost and basically think that a real cham would not believe in a ghost. I stayed for a bit and watched walked around met some people who’s house I have been to I think my appearance made the chams happy because I don’t ignore them or treat them anything less then I would anyone in Cambodia and as an American they are deff worried about me thinking they are terrorist which I am like no I don’t think u want to boom and kill me. I have been in Cambodia almost 8 months and each day I am still going deeper into the rabbit hole until next time peace out from the other side of the world.

Take Back The Night

What is take back the night your wondering well it’s a big deal on college campus around the us. The objective is to spread awarness on violence against women and stop blaming the victim. Aka when a girl walks home if something bad should happen they often are told well you should not have been out so late etc we try to think about what the victim could have done differently instead of focusing on the perpetrator. Why this was one of my bigger under takings how to explain Cambodia number one blames women for everything and I kid you not when I brought up this to jentee and she read my flyer she was like well girl Cambodia no walk alone at night why would she do that the bad things would happen to her that would be a problem idea.  Well she speaks eng and is really smart so for her to think that right their shows what a hurdle I knew this whole project was going to be how could I tailor it to get Cambodians to come and understand why gender based violence is an issue in Cambodia and that men need to take an active role as well. Well how I went about it was the family aspect and offered prize money and free fruits. In the morning I was bugging it was dead the other volunteers who were helping me were not in yet and on top of it Peace Corps informed me they were gonna stop by to take pictures eek the pressure was on. What is a girl to do the only thing she can I hit the market pavement gathering as many people as I could it did not totally work it did start enough of a buzz and then what ended up happening was parents were sending their kids for a chance to win the 5 dollars. What I learned is that I wasted days walking far into the rice fields bc until I bothered them that day they did not come and massive time was wasted on the chams I guess I need to stick close by and move whatever im doing close to the people other wise it will be a no go. Having the kids was cool though bc they have less social barriers to break down and I was surprised how honest they were on the shirts. One thing me and my friend liz talked while planning this all was how much would they really put on the shirts bc in Cambodia they are brainwashed to what is proper etc but these kids put stuff about sex trafficking in Cambodia a lot of men drinking and beating their wives even some moms hitting kids. I am not a psychologist or whatever however their shirts symbology really fascinated me time and time again they drew the mom so small and she was always on her knees begging with the cultural way of palms together and most of the men had beer cans and either a stick of knife in hand. Their were two winners one was of a girl requesting gender equality it was the more unique and the other was of a man hiding behind a tree about to rape a little girl it really looked creepy and so much like this kid really saw this. Only down side to kids coming was they were not the target so the things I had planned where for more adults so that had to go out the window As I have said other volunteers came to help and seriously this event would not have been possible if it was just me once men where involved in including one Khmer man (thanks pon) just all the help with planning and implementing made all the difference. Peace corps showed up to see the tbtn and my new house as well as my health center my site is pretty awesome bc its small but still has a lot going on which is something I talked about with one of my bosses. Anyways they also got pictures of me in front of my breast cancer awareness poster I guess to keep on record no sure about that.  Kyle who was one of the people helping had a ton of information on hiv and aids and why cheating on your partner is a bad idea which added a great touch. Andy had his students in takeo draw pictures which we made into a big poster drawing more on lookers. Over all the daytime part went not as accepted but pretty good for the type of education I was doing. Well at night was the next hurdle because I was having speakers come and a candle lighting, issues one was that my director told me I could use the microphone however gave it to the village health volunteers next was would people come back for the announcement of the winner once again me and the 4 Americans all went to the market to gather people. This time even more people came to the speech part including MEN I know this does not seem like that big of a deal but for Cambodian culture this really is a miracle and everyone was actually reading the gadc stuff we had. Since the beginning of the week people have now been coming back up to me wanting copies and more information so while it was nerve racking and I never knew exactly if I was being understood or heard it all paid off to know that I helped educate my village in equality!!!! Till next time peace out from the other side of the world!

Ill trade you that whiskey for watermelon???

Happy st patty’s day well guess what shocker there are not so many irish people in Cambodia so they never heard of such a holiday. I thought to my self how can I not let this day pass with out making it the obvious choice would be to drink but I decided to x that idea out and go with my midwife and her sister who is a village health volunteer to a watermelon field. How this day began was a huge meeting for me to tell them about me getting shoes and my other project to the health volunteers who also were coming into get trained in malaria education anyways one thing lead to another and I was invited to go pick watermelon. Honestly I had no idea what I was really going to be doing but since moving house more and more people see want to do thing with me guess being in the tb house or something was a real damper on my social calendar. I had no idea my midwife owned part of a watermelon field which was pretty far out now that I can ride motos I was actually able to go it was sweet!! Well these two little girls took it apon them selves to be my protectors for the day which is funny to see a 7 year old to worry about me falling every 5 sec. well first we went to the midwifes fathers house which was cool got to meet her family and you can just tell he is really proud of her which is cool to see. Next we headed to her sisters house and from their walked where every other person started to ask what I was doing etc the talk of a 8 mile ratios in true Khmer fashion once we got to the field it was a pretty far walk into her part of the land but along the way it was so pretty to just see everything I got lots of pictures which I will try to post up for you all to see once we got to her spot we laid out a mat and had a watermelon picnic good times. After we ate the two little girls wanted me to go to see the water with them where I guess their mom was washing a cow they wanted to go swimming which I was fine with but I guess they wanted me to go into which I had to pass for health and safety reason no need for leeches and toxic chemice to touch my skin hehe. Due to me not going in they both changed their mind aka copied me so looks like we all passed up on the possibility of rare disease from the water jk we were about to head back and the little girl was trying to hold all these watermelons in her skirt so I offered to put them in my bag to help but she got scared I would not give them back which I had to explain I would it was just to help this seemed to put her at ease. Then when I got back to my house we got a new truck full of watermelon so I started to throw them off the truck all I can think is I traded in the whiskey for some water melons at least there green right?!?!? Well until next time peace out from the other side of the world. 

Moving on up to the east side…

So after 3 months of exposure to TB Peace Corps deiced that it was not safe for me to live with my host family. I have actually already moved into jentee’s house yesterday which has been so amazing her family has been supper awesome about me moving in.  however I feel sort of weird well my old host family was sort of not cool aka I really didt like them at all except for a few people in my family deff have a few choice words for my host dad which ill go into that more in a sec. its just I don’t like to be singled out and treated like the world revolves around me because im American however my 100 dollars a month is a lot of money for a Cambodian family this makes me treated like a big fucking deal. I sort of didt think their was an exter room in her house but she told peace corps she was going to move in her brothers room so I was like o maybe that’s what going to happen because I have her room now  however im pretty sure she is going to share a bed with her mom which I feel really bad about. On top of that its always like I will cook for you what do you want I don’t want you to be hungry as if jentee is now my personal slave its like everyone waits around for me to ask jump and them reply how high. Other then feeling like they are being overly attentive to my needs this situation has been amazing!!!  It’s a nigh and day difference from my tb host family that’s what I will call them now. Okay how did the goodbyes and telling them I am out went down well peace corps was pretty pissed that he kept saying he tested negative when in fact he was postive I know your thinking how horrible but that’s not even that bad to me bc I understand 100 dollars is a lot of money for a Cambodian. Well my pcmo came to my site he is number one good at playing peoples strings so he broke the news I don’t think they were as angry as I thought they might be however the tb host family is dysfunctional so who knows what’s going on behind the closed curtains if you get my drift. The family didt seem to upset that I would not live their anymore either which is sort of not culturally normal for sake of face saving a big deal in Cambodia it would be more normal for them to be even fake upset towards me and sort of let people see. My main concern is that they don’t start talking shit about me and get people hating me for no reason so I put on a show and a half I was told to make them think I was so sad so I put tiger balm under my eyes to fake cry so they thought I was mad upset and kept telling them I didn’t like peace corps for doing this its so unfair. I can say the only people who did care I was leaving was nov and dara younger cousin and brother… nov is treated pretty shitty by the family though all he does is help them so I don’t know the deal with that but he likes to hang out in my room and play soccer with me. Dara likes that I speak eng with him and I guess that ill sit and talk with him and was telling me ill always be his sister I was like okay you can come see me (im 3 house down from my old house) he is like I will see you everyday. The rest of the family nothing seriously I think something about me turned them off it could just be due to the fact im so close with my new host family but something is just off and im pretty good and feeling the vibes on situations like this but I cant figure it out still. Well yesterday moved out and I cleaned the hosue top to bottom even mopped and my host mom was like I want you to stay for lunch and I was like no its okay but she insitated so I though wow she wants to eat with me so I agreed however as soon as she made it she just put it on the table and went back to the market without even a good bye =( I was like humm really. My host dad okay well he is not a good person so I am actually happy he doest like me bc I think if he did like me might be a guilty by association situation I tried so hard to talk with him all the time but he just would not talk to me since I moved in. well my goodbye was no different I went to give him the key to my room and thank him for “letting me be apart of the family” I use that term loosely that I was sorry peace corps was making me move and I kid you not he would not even turn his head away from the tv mean while I went in squat position to be eye level with him to have good eye contact and all he did was grunt. My family is deff not happy I moved in with jentee’s family I don’t know why but for someone reason everyone in my family seem’s not to particularly like jentee like their jealous of her though I don’t know why its not like she has life handed to her I think maybe its more her life doest get her down attitude that my family will never be able to grasp because they are all so bitter with each other o well.  All I can say is im moving on up to the east side to a deluxe apartment in the sky I can only hope that this situation is a million times better then the past family and on that note I will let you go peace out from the other side of the world.  

Moving on up to the east side…

So after 3 months of exposure to TB Peace Corps deiced that it was not safe for me to live with my host family. I have actually already moved into jentee’s house yesterday which has been so amazing her family has been supper awesome about me moving in.  however I feel sort of weird well my old host family was sort of not cool aka I really didt like them at all except for a few people in my family deff have a few choice words for my host dad which ill go into that more in a sec. its just I don’t like to be singled out and treated like the world revolves around me because im American however my 100 dollars a month is a lot of money for a Cambodian family this makes me treated like a big fucking deal. I sort of didt think their was an exter room in her house but she told peace corps she was going to move in her brothers room so I was like o maybe that’s what going to happen because I have her room now  however im pretty sure she is going to share a bed with her mom which I feel really bad about. On top of that its always like I will cook for you what do you want I don’t want you to be hungry as if jentee is now my personal slave its like everyone waits around for me to ask jump and them reply how high. Other then feeling like they are being overly attentive to my needs this situation has been amazing!!!  It’s a nigh and day difference from my tb host family that’s what I will call them now. Okay how did the goodbyes and telling them I am out went down well peace corps was pretty pissed that he kept saying he tested negative when in fact he was postive I know your thinking how horrible but that’s not even that bad to me bc I understand 100 dollars is a lot of money for a Cambodian. Well my pcmo came to my site he is number one good at playing peoples strings so he broke the news I don’t think they were as angry as I thought they might be however the tb host family is dysfunctional so who knows what’s going on behind the closed curtains if you get my drift. The family didt seem to upset that I would not live their anymore either which is sort of not culturally normal for sake of face saving a big deal in Cambodia it would be more normal for them to be even fake upset towards me and sort of let people see. My main concern is that they don’t start talking shit about me and get people hating me for no reason so I put on a show and a half I was told to make them think I was so sad so I put tiger balm under my eyes to fake cry so they thought I was mad upset and kept telling them I didn’t like peace corps for doing this its so unfair. I can say the only people who did care I was leaving was nov and dara younger cousin and brother… nov is treated pretty shitty by the family though all he does is help them so I don’t know the deal with that but he likes to hang out in my room and play soccer with me. Dara likes that I speak eng with him and I guess that ill sit and talk with him and was telling me ill always be his sister I was like okay you can come see me (im 3 house down from my old house) he is like I will see you everyday. The rest of the family nothing seriously I think something about me turned them off it could just be due to the fact im so close with my new host family but something is just off and im pretty good and feeling the vibes on situations like this but I cant figure it out still. Well yesterday moved out and I cleaned the hosue top to bottom even mopped and my host mom was like I want you to stay for lunch and I was like no its okay but she insitated so I though wow she wants to eat with me so I agreed however as soon as she made it she just put it on the table and went back to the market without even a good bye =( I was like humm really. My host dad okay well he is not a good person so I am actually happy he doest like me bc I think if he did like me might be a guilty by association situation I tried so hard to talk with him all the time but he just would not talk to me since I moved in. well my goodbye was no different I went to give him the key to my room and thank him for “letting me be apart of the family” I use that term loosely that I was sorry peace corps was making me move and I kid you not he would not even turn his head away from the tv mean while I went in squat position to be eye level with him to have good eye contact and all he did was grunt. My family is deff not happy I moved in with jentee’s family I don’t know why but for someone reason everyone in my family seem’s not to particularly like jentee like their jealous of her though I don’t know why its not like she has life handed to her I think maybe its more her life doest get her down attitude that my family will never be able to grasp because they are all so bitter with each other o well.  All I can say is im moving on up to the east side to a deluxe apartment in the sky I can only hope that this situation is a million times better then the past family and on that note I will let you go peace out from the other side of the world.

Red Light

hey so i have been doing alot of gender research and came acorss these videos which i feel depict my day to day life in cambodia and how everything runs in cambodia as far as combating sexual exploitation and cultural norms. their are 5 parts to this on you tube incase this does not work ill give you the one to the first video and you can go from their its really worth the watch! and fyi the cambodian gov has made this film illegal so my blog might be banned for this which should tell you this movie is as true as it gets!. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGnYSepEp9U

I can ride motos!!!!

Well I have been awhile from my site awhile due to this big peace corps meeting I had but the good news is I found out I can now official and legally ride on the back of motos!!! This makes my life so much more easier however there are mad restrictions. My health director and the rest of the hospital staff are so excited for me two because now I can actually do out reach with them!  This time around they split the English and health people up which from my perspective made things so much better because in the past isn’t has been me sitting though hours of talking about teaching eng which I say I really am the only volunteer that does not teach eng on the side. Well peace corps meeting was pretty good lots of info about how to get money for projects met some amazing ngos etc people to contact. It was also really good bc we had one day with two of our counter parts show up and I think they finally understand all the projects im doing and what help I need. Out side of peace corps meetings I had very little time to enjoy pp as much as I would like to because I had to really work over time on my projects first being tom shoes I had two separate meetings with them. the first one was though a contact I got from my pcmo the guy I met with was khmer and really wanted me to work with his gov however I don’t think that will happen because as soon as it goes to the gov I might never see the shoes again or have to pay to get them distributed who knows sigh I wish the gov was not corrupt but that’s the way it goes. However he did give me information on orphanages in Cambodia and how they can get shoes and gave me a contact to the gso who might have military trucks for me to get shoes to volunteers. I guess I should explain that I have been trying to work so hard on finding storage costum status and trucks to get shoes to volunteers with no money is no easy feat =) my thought was the only people power enough to help me would be the united states embassy or usaid however the director of peace corps seems to think this is a bad idea. I was like humm now what well I had a second meeting with the embassy this time with this amazing guy name matt who has worked in so many places tons of experience he actually just got to Cambodia when I did before he was working in Bagdad anyways he was telling me he thinks the military trucks are not a good idea because their to spermatic however that we need to find a company that will help because of the good press and was like well what is the one American company that goes wall to wall Cambodia any guess you guys….coca cola he is like we will talk to their president of Cambodia now if your like me your thinking well how the hell do we get the president of some company in any region to give me the time of day. Working with the embassy does have it perks he is like o simple we talk to the chamber of commerce who is working with them already for a 4^th of July party he is like I think it will work.  Other then that I am doing a take back the night for my village which is also no easy feat because gender violence is more like 1950s America you know it’s a family issues etc women should want to cook blah blah gender roles.  Well I had to get flyers made into Khmer find hand out information in Khmer and buy shirts for cheap for people to draw on a whole bunch of other stuff. I had to make a bunch of photo copies go market to market trying to find shirts and explain what I wanted in Khmer which in it self makes me tired  I also found this amazing library  sponsored by GADC anyways it was a whole place full of books on gender issues in Cambodia in Khmer and eng I was in heaven supper excited this exist I really want to work with them for my conference ill have to work on that more when I get back to site.  Next I had to get things together for my soccer camp which im officle starting at the end of this month I had that already made into Khmer but had to make photo copies and I tried looking for ball bags in the city with no luck I was thinking mabey I can use big black garbage bags which im still not sure if they sell in Cambodia ill let you know if I ever find them. good news as well I got tested for TB and im free of it bad news my host dad has been lieing to peace corps about having it so I still have to be retested since I am still around it =( however I will be moving house as to where I will live I have no idea because its complicated….how to explain well I like my brothers and sisters just my host dad is sort of a dick or something seems wrong with him to me anyways im sort of happy that this an excuses to move however feel bad for my family and I know if I make them lose face it wil be really bad for me as well because then they will say stuff about me to people and it can get socially ichy by Cambodian standards so now im left how to I pick a house that least likely get people talking so while most of you know from reading I hang out with jentee’s family all the time so that would be an easy move however my family doest like her family all that much not sure why but they seem sort of upset that me and her r friends but whatever so I was thinking of living with my director is wife is supper nice and his daughter speaks eng really well. The other thing is their has to be certain standards for me to live in a house like a bathroom and only 20 percent of Cambodians have a squatting toilet so right their limits who I can live with then you add in I need my own room and the percent gets smaller and a certain type of kitchen etc. however ill hope that one of those two house I end up in weather that will really happen I don’t yet know peace corps I guess is coming next week to figure it out sigh. Till next time peace out from the other side of the world!

Apocalypses NOW

Dear k4 I bet you all remember that amazing first hotel we stayed at for training in kampong cham the one we love to refer to as the hotel they shot apocalypses now bc it looks just like that and there are more hookers then one knows what to do with. Well great news I got to go to their nightclub and celebrate a wedding and random drunk men deff did leave with the beer girls. For the rest of you readers so confused I will start this story from the begging okay so I went to vist my host family in Prey Chore where I endured a long ass ride with the taxi driver asking me to marry him asking me why I did not want a Cambodian sweet heart which now I reply not even that I have a “sweetheart” in America but that I do not like how Khmer men drink everyday and do not work and then go off to the karaoke bars etc where they pickup women and cheat on their sweethearts. I feel this is the first step on me allowing them to know that their actions are not okay and it seems to make them laugh and know that I really do live in Cambodia I am not just visiting. So I arrive and got to meet my other host sister that I never met and gave my mom her present…. So I had this one picture of her kissing my dad while he was asleep made into a really big picture and put it in a cardboard frame with 2 Khmer phrase “always kiss me goodnight” and “our love is immortal” this made her laugh for the whole time I was visiting however she soon informed their was a big family wedding in kampong cham did I want to go. Did I really want to go not at first however I thought about it and deiced well my family now would never invite me to jack so ill go.  Im like yes but I have no Khmer wedding clothes with me she is like no problem and then im like I have very little money to contribute to this trip aka I thought we would have to stay in a hotel which you will soon find out not the case anyways she was like no money don’t worry.  Turns out my other sister had to work so I was going as the child to represent the family somewhat odd but it only gets a bit more crazy from this point on so me and my host mom grab a taxi where for the first time in her adult Cambodian life she was being ripped off bc she was with my brong ass I thought this was funny she was less then amused. She is yelling the whole car ride how im a volunteer and I have no money what’s wrong with them for thinking I have money bc she knows me she sometimes forgets that im not khmer bc im just around her and I just sort of fit however I know exactly how and outsider views me my host mom does not. I had to talk very little this car ride bc my host mom answered the normal questions I get asked. When we get to the house I meet the bride who I guess is my host cousin a lot of Buddhist nuns and yay’s (grandmama or old lady in khmer though if your not close to the old lady you would just call them om) anyways enough of a Khmer lesson their was a small ceremony all in old sandscript so I had no idea what was going on then I went down stairs with my host mom to eat where I met a lot of other random people who I would soon become bunk mates with fyi it still did not occur to me we were not staying in a hotel I guess im just that slow. Side note most people do not take part in the ceremony parts, which start the night be4 the day of then people show up for the party at night to give money. Most of the people who were around me I guess family and really close friends which is what entitles you to stay the night at the brides house and I made the cut lol so the first night yea by the way I got two fun filled nights of this they gave me a bed near a fan so I could maybe not get eating my misquotes (can say that did’t help) having the one out of the two beds meant I was deff going to be sharing so it was me my host mom and this Buddhist nun and let me inform you this bed was the traditional wooden bed with no mattress so mine as well should have slept on the floor which the next night I did do and I can say that was actually way better. I slept true khmer style 3 people to a bed and people all over the floor and in the other bed was a bunch of yays I would say 4 I guess cuz I was American I lucked out with my 3 to a bed I dunno. Well the bride gets up at 2 am to sweep the whole house for her guest which I think ill just refer to as couch suffers or crashers if you will and to start the make up process which is full body makeup to whiten the skin fyi the bride wear a butt pad to make her have a bigger but isn’t that funny bc brides in America spend weeks in a gym trying to lose their ass. At this point im like is this all really happening I think I slept for an hour and had no coffee this was going to be along day with a million people coming up to me asking me the same questions at 3 am all asking me guess what they have so many sons that they want me to marry and can I take their whole family to America. Me really you have a son is he good-looking does he drink everyday does he sleep with hookers lol are you sure bc I don’t want to have a husband who cheats on me them o no my son would never. Well there is one shower for us all to use which is a sink that you fill the bucked with to pour on ur self fun! Haha thank god im used to showering outside so not to much can bother me any more I get dressed in to the only sampot I bought with me for my peace corps meeting when I met another old lady who happens to not quit by this I mean she talked Khmer to me for 30 mins straight and I have to be real honest when I talk in Khmer my brain starts to shut down 15 mins into a convo just to much I guess well turns out I agreed to a lot of stuff to this lady with out realizing it so I can say this was partially my fault but also I cant be held accountable for long Khmer conversations. Before I know it she has convinced my host mom to start to walk to her house with me bc my host mom was going followed one thing lead to another and she was dressing me up for this Khmer event with full makeup bright pink I can say is deff my least favorite color and I think it looks pretty bad on me as far as for a color to pick to wear around. However when in Rome do as the Romans so I let them deck me out trying to remember this is their culture they think this is great I have to just keep thinking this over and over.  I kid you not it takes them like 20 mins on making my face whiter which im not sure can be done but they did try anyways we head back over to the wedding. A lot of rituals and a lot of pictures etc there is a part where you go up to at a time which this old lady basically forced me to do with her so im in a lot of pictures with her. I wish I could say the pictures stopped with her but nope I got called into all sorts of pictures with bride’s maids etc just because I was American. Well at lunch time I get this old man coming up to me requesting I go back to that old ladies house so I debate but she did give me clothes etc so I thought for irbing I would even though my host parents were not invited with me which sort of bothered me ill explain more in a sec. okay so there are rich people in Cambodia this lady happened to be one of them I mean loaded she had a driver and her house was huge I was really overwhelmed and she wanted to make me her new best friend. Well im gone for a while so my host mom comes to look for me which me and my host mom have our own way of communicating so it makes things better when she is around anyways this lady is telling her how she wants me to come vist her every month will I come and see her again real soon all this crazy talk how she wants to meet my boyfriend. I was like of course well I end up taking a nap wake up to a new frock to wear to the night time wedding party which was thank god not pink however you ever just get a odd feeling well I started to get that because it was like I could not escape this lady and she was almost using me as a hand bag to this event like my American status makes her look better to people so I was sitting at this table which im sure was an elite table just wanting to escape and find my host parents. After my encounter with this rich lady I deiced rich Cambodians make me nervous bc they can pay off the cops and do whatever they want so I think my feelings were justified even though I thought at the time why am I over thinking this. Once I did escape I did sit out side with my host mom a while and also made some new friends at the younger table my host dad was pretty busy this whole time bc he was collecting the money bc this was his brothers daughters wedding however I did get to talk to him a few times though out the wedding mostly it was him bragging to his male friends that I play soccer better then a boy however im happy he embraces this in me instead of thinking this is bad and his just such a good hearted person compared to my host dad now. Ill just end like this my story does not do this event justices you just had to be their! Anyways I get back to prey chore to see the people around the area which of course was amazing some other volunteers where also in but I had to head back for the peace corps meeting that was starting I had a really eventful visit to see the host family. Till next time peace out from the other side of the world!