Friday, September 24, 2010

Nobody puts baby in a corner: Peace Corps swear in



"No shepherd and one herd! Everybody wants the same, everybody is the same: whoever feels different goes voluntarily into a madhouse." Well okay maybe I am crazy maybe im not but one thing is for sure i just can never be like everybody else and for this I am forever defending my self but I have gotten so used to it that I would say im no longer bothered by having to deal with my actions! Well let me explain how peace corps swear in went I wish I could tell u it was all hugs and kisses and rainbows but deff not and by that I mean it was hugely political and really had nothing to do with me as a volunteer because if that was the case I wish it was far less formal and they surprised me with my host family instead of the alternative…. Which went something like this we show up and there is this huge red carpet laid out but were told that’s not for us (that went to the Cambodian gov) then we had to be escorted to the back back door so no one even saw us come in all I could think was walk of shame from a frat house or something where we originally supposed to sit on stage we sat on the floor. We were told we had to sit by province mine happened to be sitting in the front and this is were things went ary for me I wore a dress to this event all the Cambodian people loved it in fact it was my host mom is the one who picked it out for me to wear I spend 2 hrs before leaving my site showing her my different options and because she is an old Cambodian woman I figured if she said it was appropriate no big deal this was not the case I was told that my dress was to short by that I mean my knees were showing and that they did not want me representing peace corps so I had to be removed from the front to the back at this point I wish they just kicked me out but no such luck I stayed and had to deal with this great political event ill be sure to put pics up of my scant -ally clad dress and that of what other people wore so you can judge and compare for ur self because I don’t want you to just take my word for it! Lol and I know half of ur are pissing ur self laughing at me being the one wearing something that is not board shorts and a band tee but see this is why I dress like a boy as soon as I try to be a girl I get asked to leave lmao. The night of celebration was fun it would have been and awesome way to end traning but once again no such luck peace corps had to give us an exter day of training because of scheduling it was 8 in the morning the day after swear in till 5 at night while I realize its info we need so wish we could have had the day off to reflect on training but that’s how life goes all I can say sometimes its good to be considered crazy by society it just means you know your on to something or at least that’s how I like to look at it.

Monday, September 20, 2010





last days in phrey chore





When one door closes…

Goodbyes are hard to do but I realize I must move on and do what I set out to do in Cambodia my villiage is slowly emptying out yesterday all the lcfs and like 8 pcvs left. The peace corps gave us a few option as far as leaving most people wanted to leave and go to the big town with internet however a few of us that don’t want to leave our host family wanted to stay and so far I can say its been well worth it. Even though I miss internet being in Cambodia has helped me see how much time I waste on the internet so while at first I had major internet withdrawal it has stopped and I now can see it as o ill have it soon no need to rush finding it sort of a deal. Since I am leaving I have spent a large part of my time and money on presents for people which I must say I have a really hard time picking out gifts for people and to be honest I don’t know what types of gifts one gives to host parents in Cambodia not to mention no matter what I want to buy the people at the market assume I am rich and try to charge me 5 American dollars when I only make 4 dollars a day so needless to say I get so tired of having to talk them down. I asked my tutor about such things and pretty much I was told that my parents are really old so I should just get them clothes so I got my mom a pretty crazy Khmer shirt to understand the types of clothes people in Cambodia like to wear you will just have to come visit but just know the more going on the more they love the shirt for my dad I got him a tee-shirt with a cool graphic design of a tiger this is because he loves the animal planet and we spend every night watching it together doest hurt that its in eng and we play the game of what’s the name of that animal in eng and Khmer and does America/Cambodia have that animal. Speaking of the animal planet I should mention I made the mistake of telling my host mom in America we eat crab and its pretty good so guess what showed up on my lunch table today… crab which is much different from American crab and Cambodian people love to eat the whole thing I really don’t know if my body could digest the shell but this did not stop my host parents while I spent 10 mins on these supper small crabs trying to get out the meat both my host parents were ingesting them whole and laughing at me struggling with the pin size meat I got off each crab. Okay back to gifts while I tried to get presents for people I spent a lot of time with it did not occur to me that people who I barely new would get me gifts or stop charging me for things case in point the lady at the café bought material for a sarong when I went to the tailor to get it sewed up she would not accept money and then when I got home some girl that is friends with my neighbor who I spoke with 2 times bought me a key chain and necklace. Now I feel that I owe so much to Cambodian people for being so supper nice and open to my American crazy ways for them to buy me gifts makes me feel bad they spent there money on me because while I wish I could return the favors to each person I know ill never be able to. Since I am leaving my host mom really wanted a pic of us together so we have this photo booth thing in our house which I guess is run by this random girl I don’t really understand why its in my house but it is so anyways it has different backgrounds and they love to Photoshop the crap out of it in other words see how white they can make them selves look I requested to be made tan but in the picture I look ghost white lol request denied also I guess in Cambodia they don’t like to smile for pics so my host mom looks real serous.

R.I.P

Today was an eventful day while I went door to door speaking broken Khmer about dengue for a community health project I also went to my first Khmer funeral/wake. Sadly one of the other peace corps volunteers host dad passed away this morning needless to say being in her shoes is tough because Cambodians are quickly to make you family and that being so opens a whole new door of responsibilities that I my self don’t know if I would be ready for. Then on the other hand you also have to deal with I have only know this family a month is it right for me to stay go what I don’t know. Well from my perspective had a lot of new rituals to learn about how one acts and a Cambodian funeral, which seems to be considered a festival there more about celebrating the life of the person then the death. I guess what I went to was more the American version for a wake except there are a huge amount of monks around and you have to bow to them and do the lighting of incenses also there is the giving of the money which is the part that threw me off. Okay so I was told that you give money because it is what pays for the funeral so I am okay with that however when does one give the money I had no idea do I give it when I walk in or out turns out no it goes on a plate to the monks then because you gave them money they bless you. To me this seemed semi off because I would think the monks would want to bless the family not me never the less we Americans amused the monks in fumbling though this whole ritual aspects of Cambodia, always willing to make a monk happy. Everything was really colorful and they give you food and water the family wears all white and wears their shirts inside out I wore a black sampot and a white shirt which I guess is what woman wear to such an event always a learning experience in Cambodia. One could only hope that an event like this would not be come a spectacle what I mean by that I could not help but feel some people came around to just watch the facts Americans were at this house and that made me feel pretty shitty that someone died and people still had to put the fact that I am American above all else I thought death would trump most things in life. The whole town has been with out power for 2 days now I guess they are fixing the system to make it better I don’t know but I was able to explain to my host mom that were I am going I will not have lights and table this made her hysterically laugh for the whole night so every time the lights came back on she was like Eileen does not have in kpong channang. Then she preceded to ask me if I would cry in kpong channang and then she whips out her pinkie finger deff threw me off to make me pinkie promises that I would stay in Cambodia for 2 years and not go home to America. Naturally I also threw in the kiss with it to make it extra 3rd grade lmao!

Thank you

this is the letter i had translated into khmer for my host family i dunno if its blog worthy but ill post it anyways ps i already miss them =(

Words can not express enough gratitude for all that you have done for me while I was learning about Cambodia beyond that you have given me a chance to experience a family life in Cambodia and for that I will be forever in your debt. There is so much I have wanted to say since living with you but had no idea how to say it in Khmer and for that I am sorry I hope desperately before I leave the country I will actually be able to have a full out conversation without questioning every other word however I have to say actions speak a 1000 words and if there is one lesson I learned is that you can still understand a person with out speaking which makes it awesome to be a human being to experience that deep connection with out having to explain it. With that I can say I have never felt so loved by two complete strangers in my entire life I hope to carry that positivity you have given me into my American family which I am sure at some point you will get to meet (brace your self for that experience). I would also like to thank you for accepting me for who I am while I have been in training I have heard many things about Cambodian culture from what will be taking offensively but as you may have noticed I like to march to the beat of my own drum and I am truly happy you could see past what some might have perceived as bad. I never thought I would have a 2nd family now that I have met you I know I do I hope to be able to keep in touch and see you while I live in Cambodia I wish you and your family good health, happiness and luck in your life and if you ever want to come visit me in the U.S New York has your name on it =)

Mindfreak

Well for those of you who don’t know as a kid I always wished for magic powers and I wish I could tell you I gave up on the idea but I still semi hope to develop powers except I am a bit more realistic with them now and willing to except that I will never be able to teleport, astral project or move things with my mind aka telekinesis or shape shift. However the idea of magic has plagued me my whole life and this lead me to various interest from studying the religion of Wicca to understanding mysticism and of course taro cards and palm reading and a few in between things. Well in America these things are not taken very seriously so when you say I can read palms its more of a fun game well I had to learn a bit of the hard way that in Cambodia it might be taken a bit more serous…. Let me take you back to a week ago I was in the market I often go alone so I can talk Khmer with the market ladies and one of them started to look at my palm so I thought you know she was trying to read my palm so in return I asked her for her palm well I cant speak Khmer well enough by any stretch of the imagination to actually give her a reading by the way I read a book on palmistry and I tend to practices what I learned drunk so I think this was my first sober reading and believe me I don’t really posses any gifts. So I just gave one word answers by using the dictionary this soon got a bit out of hand when there was like 10 market people up in my face wanting me to read there palm well soon enough I was able to escape and I was like okay this is all behind me. However this was not so mind you this was my own fault the market is the worse place to do anything because that’s how rumors get spread in Cambodia everyone knows if you want to know the gossip you talk to the market ladies. Anyways yesterday I was sitting at the café and one of the lcfs goes to me in front of a lot of people so I hear you are a physic and you can read palms and I am like wait how did you find out about that (of course the market people but I wonder how many 2nd hand times it was spread I shutter to think) sigh so this ended up me sitting reading everyone palms for what felt like forever mean while the whole reason I was there was to go guppy hunting for my community project instead my productivity was spend on palms. Let me first clarify a few things for those of you who know me I am deff no physic however most of you might not know I do have a random gift its kinda of a blessing and a curse I am supper in tune with people I just happen to be really good at reading people and can kind of know what they will do etc I dunno how to explain it but I can see though what people want me to see. Why I bring this up is simple I don’t need to know the people to read there palms I simply just read into how they are dressed how they move etc very basic things I have seen of them and I can give them what seems to be the most amazing palm reading of their life so I just use my ability with that of this book I read and boom you to can be a physic. Okay the reason I am telling you so much about this is because it occurred to me after I did this yesterday I might have scared a few Cambodian people into thinking that I talk to sprits or I really have powers so now I am left with damage control and sort of regretting that I did not put into account Cambodian culture and how they would perceive what in America would be a fun game. I should also mention that I also messed up in another way before you “read someone palm” your supposed to ask do you really want to know everything but because I was taking it more of a joke I did’t and I think perhaps the negative things I pick up on might have made people even more freaked out when really all this stuff is just a mindreak!

MONOPOLY

I think we can all agree that monopoly is a very American game the other day I started to play some sort of khmer board game turns out its pretty much exactly like sorry but there board is made out of paper you have 4 different color players that are horse the rest of the rules are if you play American board game sorry, but it got me thinking what is there monopoly that I think really represents society I am still on the look for it. I would think that monopoly best personifies the mentally of Americans in society the game has a lot of buying and selling following the rules and landing in jail being in dept etc very individualistic so im thinking there game has to be some sort of team one but ill let you know when I find it. Yesterday morning a poisonous spider ended up in my room I was to scared to scream well I saw it run away so I was all like okay it has left but no it quickly went on the wall by were my clothes are I was to scared that I would miss and not aim right or something and not kill it then get bit so I decide that I would let my host mom take care of it however I should first mention how this all went wrong…. Okay so in Cambodia it is rude to point like u do in America so there is like this whole other way you have to hold ur hand and in my state of panic I could not remember for the life of me which way to hold my hand so turns out I ended up doing it the wrong way which is plam down fingers moving out word meaning to go away opposite what I wanted so when I realize she was walking away I tried to speak broken khmer and she came back and was laughing at me bc she realized what I was trying to do the first time. Well as I have told you guys before my host mom is bad ass so she just comes in with her broom and knocks the spider down and throws it out side I thought this thing would attack mean while it just rolled in a ball and went for her broom ride. Birthdays in Cambodia are not really a big deal however they still are to me so I found out that my Khmer tutor this 14 year old girl who I found at the market it was her birthday last week when I was gone and she was telling me no one did anything for her so this made me sad and I gathered up some stuff from my room I bought a lot of stuff in china town before coming so I gave her a bag and a post card with a pic of nyc this was all good she was really happy however then the very next day she comes back with a scarf for me telling me happy birthday and I was like no its not my birthday its ur birthday so now this poor girl wasted money on me when she is tutoring me for free sign I have a going away present for her to so ill just make sure to give that to her the very last sec so she doest try to buy me stuff! This week I tried to explain to my host mom a few things one if she ever goes to America not to call people big bc that will make them cry and stop eating I might have went a bit over board but now she gets it however I am no longer an American in her brain so I can be called whatever but everyone else she might think twice. I also explain that in American culture they do not like people to be harry so I went into shaving except I couldn’t push my self to explain the Brazilian wax maybe next time however a few days after this awesome chat I had one of the volunteers come over to wax my eye brows so this opened a whole new line of what’s up with these Americans. She did understand however she played charades with me to let me know in Cambodia you shave your eyebrows not rip them out. To be fair I must note some random facts I learned this week well we learned about holidays in Cambodia this week and also had to explain American holidays this leads me to what I learned its really hard to have to explain in America we believe a magic Easter bunny that’s is the size of a human goes around and gives candy I can tell you I am pretty sure this is what leads people to think Americans are not the sharpest tools in the shed. Lets see o yes the cats in Cambodia well some of them have really retarded looking tails and I thought they got in fights or something turns out no this is from inbreeding that during the Khmer rouge they ate anything and I guess this included cats so this caused the cats to start to develop half tails being that it is the weakest genome. This one will make Annmarie laugh the word for freckles in Khmer literally translates to fly shit its good to know what Cambodians think are all over me.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Bedtime stories

So there are a few awesome stories to make you all laugh lets see first I don’t think I got to tell you about how my host family likes to sleep at night… so imagine your self in a new place your own room and everyone asking you if you are scared and you keep saying no I am not scared but happy bc that’s all I can translate in Khmer however they don’t believe you so 5 different family members including my host mom all sleep out side my bed room door on the floor by the way my door is glass so I can see them all lying there all night feeling horrible that they think this is what I want. In Cambodia a lot of the families like to share beds and sleep together so this could be there thought process or another is that they think they need to protect me from evil sprits ghost etc which I guess ill just hope doest last to long. Okay going into another awesome story well the other night me and 3 other people in my provenance were all eating dinner and I saw this kid start staring at us and really looked like he wanted to talk and as he moved closer I could tell he was autistic so this is when I thought let me be nice and wave him over to talk to him mean while my brain was in eng so I totally forgot he would only know Khmer turns out he didn’t know either. Well he sits with us and is trying to speak but I don’t know what he is saying and then points to our food wanting some so we decide to splurge and by him the 2 dollar meal this of course made him happy and he then wanted a pic of us this is where it gets real interesting. He whips out a cigarette box but we are all like is that some sort of new camera and mean while he is holding it out just like you would any digital camera and then we realize its deff a cig box mean while the first “picture” was not good enough and he turns around this box to show us so we have to take another fake pic with everyone in the restaurant mean while is looking and laughing bc they see what’s happening this kid is taking pic of a bunch of brongs from all diff angles and we did not even no what to do. I guess we made a real good impression on our new host city. Well from this same place we ate I got food poisoning so this brings me to my next story sorry its ending on this note well in Cambodia its pretty much inevitable that at some point and time you will get sick from eating something bad and I guess it was just my turn the only thing that sucks is I had to ride a bus for 2 hrs and stop and throw up continuously I could not even hold down water so by the time I made it to P.P I get off the bus im so dehydrated I almost pass out while throwing up some more with some random Cambodians smacking my back doing I don’t even know what. This next part is how you know I live in Cambodia me and the other volunteers spend the tuk tuk ride getting me to the medical people saying well it could be a lot worse at least you know its not dengue this statement is sad but true in Cambodia there is always worse so ill leave you with that note.